Spontaneous Love

My Utmost For His Highest
~ April 30

"but when His Holy Spirit is having His way with us, we live according to His standard without even realizing it. And when we look back, we are amazed at how unconcerned we have been over our emotion, which is the very evidence that real spontaneous love was there."

I grew up in a family where, from a very young age, I was forced to either love and forgive without question or allow the events that took place in our lives to destroy me. Thank God that I was taught to love. I look back on my life now and I don't understand why my scars are not much deeper than they are. I have been hurt, done wrong and have been punished for the actions of others all of my life. Don't get me wrong, I am a grown man and the Lord knows I have made my own decisions along the way as well. But, for some reason my heart can do nothing but love unconditionally, and from the truest of Gods ability, I forgive.

I can not exactly look back and remember any specific conversation that my parents or any other person for that matter, ever had with me about love and forgiveness. It was more of an example that was set before me. My mom was strong in her faith and I believe that she set that standard which became a way of life. Everyone struggles, bad things happen to good people, but what really matters in life is this... "What did I do with the love that pours from the Fathers heart into mine."

His love is there only because it "has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit..." (Romans 5:5)

When I read 1 Cor. 13:4 where it talks about love suffering long, I think about my relationship with my dad, Gene. He has been the source of a lot of hurt and pain in my life. I have tried time and time again to turn off the love I have for him. I have really given it an honest effort. But, my heart in incapable of turning off love, the same as it is incapable of unforgiven. It can't describe the feelings in my heart on this subject. Yes, I am hurt, I am sad and I may or may not ever have a close relationship with my dad again. But I love him, he is my dad and he will always have that place in my heart. Not only do I love him, but I forgive him. I have searched my heart over and over trying to find some trace of unforgiven. But I have never found any unforgiven. The only way that I can describe it is that "when His Holy Spirit is having His way with us, we live according to His standard without even realizing it. And when we look back, we are amazed at how unconcerned we have been over our emotions."

I have only begun to see in my marriage how the lessons I've learned in life have allowed me to love stronger and deeper. Because I am not a prisoner to unforgiven and bitterness I am able to share with my wife the innermost parts of me. She asks me all of the time if I think other married couples talk about as much as we do, and I can't really give her an answer because i don't know. But I do know this, I love her unconditionally, and with all of my heart. She is my best friend and I know that I can be myself around her. A love like this, that can only come from the Father, is the hugest thing that has ever happened in my life.

Love is the most incredible emotion I have ever experience.